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What Do I Do Now?
Dealing With The Loss Of A Loved One


Understanding the Difference Between Grief & Depression


Ways to Help the Bereaved

There are generally five stages of grief that are recognized by most behavioral health care professionals.  It is important to note that many people move between stages over a period of time or skip stages altogether.  The stages include:

Denial
Because of the enormity of the loss of a loved one, some people will simply deny that the loss has even taken place.  With this denial comes a feeling of numbness that can last for a few moments to several years.

Anger
Once an individual realizes that he/she can no longer deny the loss of his/her loved one, he/she may become angry.  That anger may be turned towards any number of situations or people, even the deceased.

Bargaining
An individual may attempt to relieve an event to somehow make up for the loss or to do something differently that will bring back his/her loved one.

Depression
A sense of hopelessness can begin to envelope the individual when he/she realizes that nothing will bring back his/her loved one.

Acceptance
At this point, an individual accepts the loss and begins to move on with his/her life.

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Understanding the Difference Between Grief and Depression

Whenever most people think about experiencing the loss of a loved one, they immediately think about the emotional effect.  There are also potential physical and behavioral changes that can occur during this time.

Grief does not work on a specific timeline; therefore, an individual may experience all the phases of grief several times within the grieving process.

It is important to know that there is a time of grief necessary after the death of a loved one; however, there is a difference between grief and clinical depression.  When grief turns into clinical depression, the care of a professional behavioral health care provider is necessary.  According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, there are several key differences, they may include:

Extended Grief Clinical Depression
Responds to comfort and support Does not accept support
Often openly angry Irritable and may complain but does not directly express anger
Relates depressed feelings to loss experienced Does not relate experience to a particular life event
Can still experience moments of enjoyment in life Has chronic physical complaints
May have transient physical complaints Has generalized feelings of guilt
Expresses guilt over some specific aspect of loss Loss of self-esteem is of greater duration
Has temporary impact upon self-esteem

If you or someone you love is experiencing the symptoms of clinical depression over the loss of a loved one, there is help available.  Please contact the CARELINE at (800) 662-1002 for information about services available to help.

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