Growing Older and Wiser
Being A Parent To The Parent

Approximately 33 million Americans, almost 13% of the total population, is over age 65.  By the year 2030, that number is expected to double.  The number of Americans over the age of 85 has almost tripled to 4 million from 1960.  Together, these numbers show a growing trend in the length of life-expectancy for many Americans.  This has created a need to understand how to take care of aging parents, being a parent to the parent.

The financial, social, physical and psychological demands of being a caregiver to an ailing parent can be an overwhelming task, especially since there is no training for being a caregiver except on the job.  Being a caregiver is often a sudden responsibility that can cause problems in the caregiver's family.  To help relieve some of the problems associated with this responsibility, plan ahead.  Many adult children may not want to face the possibility that their parents are aging because it is a sign that they to are growing older, but being prepared can reduce the stress and relieve some of the burdens associated with taking care of parents.

The process can be remarkably good for all members of the family, if it is properly planned and approached with a positive attitude.

Look at the caregiving as an opportunity to interact with family members and learn more about life.  Contrary to what  most people think, they can learn something from older people.  Involve grandchildren when possible, as well as other family members in the daily activities.  Recent research has shown that when older adults participate in their care, it can greatly increase their quality of life by improving emotional and physical well being of the parent.

Let caregiving be an opportunity to return the love and affection that the parent provided in the past.  While it is unfortunate that some parents may have missed the opportunity to provide a caring and loving environment for their children, being the caregiver can be a chance to heal old wounds and restore relationships.  Realize that the past is the past, live in the here and now.

Whenever an event such as a broken hip or loss of mental command occurs to a parent, it is many times the adult child who must take on the role of caring for his/her parent.  Here are some ideas on what to do.

• Do not wait, investigate all the possibilities for care before an accident or failing health becomes an issue.  Explore with the parent, the options for assisted-living or family arrangements so that everyone is aware of what to expect.

• Seek out support, consult social workers and geriatric physicians to ensure that physical and emotional changes are noted early.  The support of health care professionals can be especially important when going against the wishes of a mentally declining individual.

• Shop around, check out potential locations for care.  Examine the locations on multiple days and during different times to ensure proper supervision of other patients as well as the care provided.  Whenever possible, get the input of the parent to ease transition.

• Take care of yourself, manage stress factors by exercising and eating properly.  Learn to seek out the positive sides of the circumstances.

For more information about caring for aging parents, please contact the SeniorView Resource Center at (800) 662-2790 or the Alabama Council on Aging at (334) 242-5743.