How do you see yourself? What is the first thing you think about when you look at yourself in the mirror? When you think about your accomplishments, is it in a positive or negative light?

How you view yourself is self-esteem. It is defined by the National Association of Self-Esteem as the experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges and being worthy of happiness.

How individuals see themselves has an impact on every moment of their lives. An individual’s self-evaluation is how that person: sets goals, chooses values, determines actions and reactions, and meets the challenges of life.

Low self-esteem can damage an individual’s ability to deal with all situations, both work and social. It can lead to depression, anxiety and other behavioral conditions that can completely remove a person from their family, friends and co-workers.

People with low or weak self-esteem often seek to stay in familiar, simple and undemanding surroundings which in turn further lowers their self-esteem because they are not challenged to learn and explore.

People with low self-esteem routinely respond in one of two ways to the circumstances of life:

Feel “down” about themselves.

Such people may put little or no effort in activities, be heavily dependent on others to look after them, doubt their abilities, and feel overwhelmed by the pace of life.

Feel angry and want to get even with the world.

Individuals may act moody or temperamental, blame others and constantly find fault, display excessive negativity to the point of arguing over insignificant things, and finding pleasure in other people’s failures and troubles.

While some people have one response constantly, many have both responses throughout the day. People with low self-esteem confuse their sense of self-worth with how other people respond to them. This leads to the thought that everyone is happier than they are feeling inside. From this, they assume that no one could feel as badly as they do; thereby, creating a vicious cycle that lowers their self-esteem even more.

Improving self-esteem begins with appreciating one’s own uniqueness. Understanding the fact that there are not two people alike can help an individual to begin to enjoy the experience of life again. Getting started to improving your self-esteem is as easy as:

Be on time for everything. When other people see that you make an effort to be timely, then they can begin to trust you with more and more responsibility. Being on time may seem small, but it is the foundation for how you see importance in others.

Keep your conscience clean. Have a friend or someone you trust that you can routinely talk with about things that are bothering you. Not being weighted down with past circumstances can help you have a better mental image of yourself.

Take responsibility—forgive. Forgive and forget past failures. Being responsible for little things will enable you to be responsible for bigger things. Play by the rules—even when others are not. Being responsible means that your measure of success may not be what society’s or other people’s measures of success are.

Be clean. It may seem silly, but take time for personal grooming. Organize your life by getting rid of things you no longer need or use. A positive self-image is the basis for a positive self-esteem, so always begin and end the day with good personal grooming habits.

Write down what it is that you want. Set goals for yourself with timelines of when you want to reach that goal. Do not be discouraged if you fail, just keep going—adjust your goals regularly to see if they are achievable.

Discover the positive moments. Spend time focusing on what you have and what you have accomplished, not on what you want or think you have to have to survive. Give yourself time to be proud of your accomplishments. Work hard to develop positive circumstances during times when the outcome is negative or uncertain.

Be an active participate in life. Find supportive and constructive friends and actively socialize with them. Equally important is to be active physically. When you exercise, your body produces chemicals and releases hormones that relax and ease your mind. Additionally, exercise can improve your physical appearance and give you an opportunity to feel even better about yourself.

Be positive with yourself, about yourself. For every negative thought about yourself, immediately think of something positive. Form relationships with people who have a positive attitude. Strong relationships can help you when your self-esteem is low because you can depend on someone who will help you.

Love what you do and do what you love. Find out what brings you joy and do it as much as possible. When you cannot do what is joyous, make what you are doing joyous—attitude is everything.

Do what you say you will do, keep your word. People respect each other by what they say. If you tell someone something, make sure you have the time and resources to do it.

Tell the truth, immediately. Honesty is always the best. Do not wait until the “right” moment because you damage how you are seen in other people’s eyes.

Make time to be calm at least 24 minutes every day. Learn to relax one minute for every hour of the day. This allows you to take in the day with a more positive attitude.

Having a high self-esteem means that an individual may be more ambitious, honest with himself or herself, and constructive in developing long-term relationships within both work and social settings. Those with a high self-esteem seek new challenges and more demanding goals; thereby, continuing to grow in all areas of their life.

Problems related to self-esteem are numerous and can include both emotional and physical problems. So working to improve self-esteem can make a dramatic and healthy difference.

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Learning to love the way you look is vital to having a high self-esteem. Women more often than men, deal with the problems of what they perceive as an imperfect body. Listed below are some facts about the “perfect” body.

Here are some facts . . .

If Barbie were a real woman, she would have to walk on all fours because of her proportions.

The average American woman weighs 144 lbs and wears a size 12 or 14.

One out of every four college aged women has an eating disorder.

The models in magazines are airbrushed to accentuate their positive traits and minimize their negative ones.

In 1995, a psychological study found that three minutes spent looking at models in a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty or shameful. (Remember, these are the same magazines that have been airbrushed.)

Twenty years ago, models weighed 8% less than the average women, today they weigh 23% less.

Having a positive body image is not unrealistic. What should be remembered is that what we see each day in magazines and movies is not the typical body. These pictures are computerized and altered to fit what the movie producer or magazine editor thinks the public wants to see. Problems associated with poor self-image are low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other types of related behavioral conditions. Learning to love yourself just as you are is the best way to deal with nagging questions about how you see yourself. There is no one else like you, you are one of a kind that cannot ever be reproduced. So, remember to be unique and proud of who you are.

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A Test Of Your Self-Esteem
Answer the following questions as true or false.

• I generally feel as competent as my peers

• I usually feel I can achieve whatever I want

• Whatever happens to me is mostly in my control

• I rarely worry about how things will work out

• I am confident that I can deal with most situations

• I rarely doubt my ability to solve problems

• I rarely feel guilty for asking others to do things

• I am rarely upset by criticism

• Even when I fail, I still do not doubt my basic ability

• I am very optimistic about my future

• I feel that I have quite a lot to offer an employer

• I rarely dwell for very long on personal setbacks

• I am always comfortable in disagreeing with my boss-spouse-date

• I rarely feel that I would like to be somebody else

If you answered more false than true, you may suffer from low self-esteem, which may interfere with the quality of your life. If low self-esteem has become a problem for you or someone you know, please contact the CARELINE at 1 (800) 662-1002.

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